Interchange Blog - posts by Steve Bearman

About Steve Bearman

Steve Bearman, Ph.D., earned his doctorate in Psychology from the University of California, Santa Cruz. He founded Interchange Counseling Institute in 2002 and is the lead teacher of Interchange's San Francisco-based year-long counseling and coaching training. When he's not counseling people, leading workshops, and advocating for social justice, Steve climbs mountains, adventures in the urban wilderness, explores the edges and limits of what's possible, deconstructs everything, and finds new ways to put it all back together.

Why Counseling Should be More Like Dating (and vice versa)

Dating and counseling are two of my favorite relational forms! They may seem unrelated at first, but both share the goal of creating an unusual depth of intimacy in an unusually short period of time. To be a compelling counselor, … Continue reading

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The Intimacy Equation

If you want a fulfilling life, you need fulfilling relationships. But what makes a relationship fulfilling? In a word, intimacy. Intimacy is the experience of feeling genuinely connected instead of separate, sensing that you and someone else are a part … Continue reading

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How to Fulfill All Your Sexual Fantasies

Your relationship with desire strongly influences the quality of your life.  If you don’t know what you want, how can you be guided toward the things that will fulfill you most?  Unless you sense your own desire, how can you know … Continue reading

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Depression, Anxiety, and the Mismanagement of Aliveness

The armies of the anxious, and the droves of the depressed, continue to swell in number. Their members yearn to unlock the mysteries of anxiety and depression, but the keys are lost. We’ve searched for them in every corner of … Continue reading

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What to Do When You’re Feeling Sorry for Yourself

No one wants to feel sorry for themselves. It’s got a pretty bad rap. I mean, who wants to wallow in self-pity, or stay stuck in the victim role, or dwell on the past? Yet we do feel sorry for … Continue reading

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Decolonize Your Mind

Your thoughts are not your own. Many of your most private, most personal thoughts are not actually yours at all. Think about it: you are no more the creator of your mind than you are of your body. Though you … Continue reading

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The Other Safe Sex Conversation

How do you decide if you want to have sex with someone? Presumably you would choose someone you’re attracted to in some compelling way. Mutual interest on their part also seems to be a key ingredient. Once you’ve got those … Continue reading

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How To Make Friends With Anyone

Just because you have friends, doesn’t mean you know how to make friends. There is an art to making friends, and not everyone learns it. Fortunately, even if you never learn the art, you can wind up with friends anyway. … Continue reading

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Getting Good at Getting Rejected

Here’s what’s great about getting rejected! Many of life’s most desirable experiences and meaningful relationships come from asking for what you want. If you’re too afraid of getting rejected, you won’t ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, … Continue reading

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Jealousy, Addiction, Enlightenment, Friendship, Crying . . .

I’m feeling pretty groovy about myself today. I’ve spent the last week pulling together all of the best stuff I’ve ever written or filmed on topics like jealousy, addiction, enlightenment, friendship, crying, oppression, ethics, judgment, strangeness, sleep, healing, leadership and … Continue reading

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